Despite the fact that FOMO (fear of missing out) is real, and it happens in both our work and personal lives, boundaries are SO necessary. Why? To ensure that you maintain a level of sanity, but also keep a little joy for yourself. And it is your right. As Tony Robbins said, “… when you say “no,” you’re not saying “I hate you,” and you’re not insulting someone, you’re simply exercising your right to say “no.” Because it is a right, not a privilege.”
Trust me when I say this, “life will carry on, so it is ok if you miss out”. It is 100% totally OK if you miss out. Obviously, with being under restrictions, some learnings were solidified. During all this, I’ve had time to think about it and have narrowed it down to the 3 most important times you’re allowed to say “no”, and have it be the best feeling you will feel.
Here are my 3 most important times you can say “no” and never ever feel bad:
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If it makes you uncomfortable – say “no” and get out.
Trust your gut when you feel like something isn’t right, and get out of that situation. Don’t second guess yourself. Being able to voice out your concerns is important because it gives others a chance to speak up and create dialogue around solutions and how things can be better.
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When you don’t want to – say “no”.
Self-care is important, and being able to take the time to do the things that you enjoy is totally okay. While it might seem that one might need a plausible reason to say “no”, you aren’t obligated to give one. There is no need to lie, because being unavailable for self-care is ok, and if people can’t appreciate your “me-time”, then you might need to re-think your relationships. Self-care is key to our mental health and prioritizing it over the needs of others is totally acceptable.
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When your calendar is already crammed – say “no”.
When you are booked solid, it is totally acceptable and advisable to say “no“. While the idea of fitting in a quick “something” in your calendar might be a good idea, assess your commitments before saying yes to something else. Sometimes, taking on more could add more stress than you need, which could affect your ability to complete your prior obligations to your standards. Taking on more is not always better, SO focus on putting your best foot forward with what you already have on your plate and be happy with your decision to say, “no”, because your peace of mind is more important than trying to please everyone at your expense.
So, if and when in doubt, just say “no”. You might regret it in the moment, but you will go to bed that night in a much better state of mind. Do you find it hard to say no? Why? If not, do share more! I look forward to continuing the conversation!
... S. xo